Overwhelmed, underappreciated, worn out, and lonely–that’s how I’ve been feeling lately. My list of daily responsibilities has grown to an all-time high, and I’ve been feeling buried in the avalanche. Through prayer, The Lord has told me to let go of several responsibilities. The smaller ones have been easy to drop, but I have a few that are rather large obligations that can’t be let go of overnight. I need to find someone to step into the role, and I’ve been having a hard time finding the right person or remedy for the jobs.
I know God’s timing is everything, so I am trying to wait patiently. However, there are days when the responsibilities get the best of me and the tears flow like a fountain. The Father has been gently nudging me and reminding me that He is walking with me through this season.
Nowadays, everywhere I turn I find a woman who is worn and weary, burned out beyond anything they can possibly bear. We are trying to be everything to everybody and it is just IMPOSSIBLE. Many women these days feel as if they are being thrown to the wolves into this treacherous and despicable world.
In many ways that is true, as women are burdened with carrying the load of more than God intended. We weren’t meant to be the breadwinners. We weren’t really ever meant to put in more hours at our career or job than we do at home. In fact, helping financially was supposed to be an afterthought, something we did after we took care of all of our priorities. Priorities were supposed to be spiritual growth and relationship with God, marriage, children, home, church, community in that order.
Unfortunately, society has pushed the roles of men onto women. Women are just as much to blame as men or society, because many have decided to become present-day Eves. They are hungry for power, hungry to be like God, and they have fallen into satan’s trap.
These women aren’t the only ones suffering, though. All women are suffering whether they have this hunger for power or not. Many women desire to fulfill God’s call in their lives, but they are stuck in the vicious aftermath of this disaster society has pushed upon us.
The world has taken away the responsibility of man, his leadership, his power, his strength, his courage, his ingenuity, his initiative. Society has taken the warrior God created and turned him into a more subservient type of being while women have been forced to become something they were never meant to be: the Prince Charming, the hero, the warrior, the rescuer, the knight in shining armor.
Now that’s not to say that God did not mean women to be warriors. He did, but not in the same way that He planned it for man. Husbands and wives were meant to support one another, to complement the other, to be the strength when the other is weak, to lift each other up spiritually and physically. They are equally important in the eyes of God, but He did not create them to be equal in every way. Women have strengths men do not have, and men have strengths women don’t have.
I’m grateful there are still marriages that model God’s plan. Those are rare and beautiful marriages. Unfortunately, I am seeing in many instances that the wife is the spiritual leader, leading the family in Bible study, worship, and prayer. It’s the wife who spends her nights on her knees before The Lord praying for her family, fighting the enemy for their souls. It’s the wife who is making most of the family decisions. It’s the wife that is picking up the slack.
Married and single women are struggling to balance everything on their plate. I don’t even think we can call it a “plate”, can we? Plates fit neatly in our hands and are usually fairly manageable even when we fill them to overflowing at an all-you-can-eat buffet. Many of us are beyond carrying a couple of plates. We are carrying the plates God has equipped us to carry. Then we are struggling to scoop up boulders God never meant us to carry. And in many cases society is encouraging or even forcing us to do so.
I’m willing to bet this is similar to what your todo list looks like:
Sometimes I get up earlier too. Notice there’s no exercise or “me time” on the list. And of course the sad thing is that is not everything…
I would just love to say thank you so very much to all of those women who have passed down this idea and this burden, who have emasculated our men, and trained them to be passive and give up their leadership roles to women—EXTREME SARCASM. You are the ones who have buried women in an avalanche of stress, pressure, and burden. Forgive us for not expressing our gratitude…
You have taken away heroes, Prince Charmings, and have trained men to give up their God given roles in the home and in society. In this human world, you have thrown yourselves and your gender to the wolves.
There are a few warriors and Prince Charmings left in this world. I pray they do not grow weary in the roles God has given them, and I pray they will be protected from this destruction.
Thankfully, Christian women have someone bigger than Prince Charming, more powerful than any hero. God is our refuge, our ever present help in this stressful world. He is our King, who leads, guides, protects, directs, comforts, and rescues. He is the one to which we should ultimately turn.
Do not lose heart, ladies. Turn to The Father. Make a relationship with Him a priority. Let Him rescue and free you. It won’t mean you will not have to balance the busyness of life, but you won’t have to do it alone. You will have someone to walk beside you when you feel like you are on your own.
When I feel overwhelmed, I tend to curl up in a shell. For some reason (probably the work of the enemy), I tend to draw away from encouragement. I don’t always share with my prayer warriors. Sometimes I don’t even draw near to The Lord, but this is what the enemy wants. He desires for me to be so bogged down and overwhelmed that I cannot fulfill my God-given calling and role in this life, which has a ripple effect on my family and those who look up to me.
Don’t make this mistake. This is where God does use you as a warrior. Defeat the enemy by leaning on The Lord and seeking His will before taking on new tasks. Pray and study His Word for the roles of yourself and your husband in your family.
We can’t be surprised that our lives are utter chaos when we our gender has completely disregarded His will. We don’t want to pass these burdens on to our children. Life is hectic enough without messing with God’s natural plan for things. Our daughters and sons deserve better. Give our sons back their warrior status, and give our daughters back their Prince Charmings. Let’s turn things around by prioritizing, leaning on God and our sisters in The Lord, praying for our families, and teaching future generations to turn back to God and His plan for our roles in this life.
Motherhood—According to Oxford Dictionary, it’s “the state of being a mother”, “a woman in relation to a child or children to whom she has given birth”.
What a very boring and unfit definition! It’s so much more than that. It’s unconditional love, unspeakable joy, treasured memories, the most precious time in the life of a woman. It’s ironic that mothers are also the most under-appreciated people on this earth. I’m not just saying that because I am a mother. I truly believe it, and I knew it even before I was a mother. Read more here at Raising Homemakers.
Soon our school year will be just another memory. What began nine months ago is quickly coming to an end. Are you like me, feeling as if each year ticks by faster than the last? I mean there are moments during our school year that seem to drag on forever like fractions, anatomy, pre-calculus… (Did you sense a trend? If you guessed we tend to struggle with math and science, you guessed correctly.) However, for the most part it has flown by. Taking the year as a whole, I feel as if it was a blurred whirlwind of events.
My oldest is wrapping up her freshman year of college. I’m in my third year of denial that my middle child is in high school, and this is pretty bad considering she will be a senior this fall. I don’t even want to think about the fact that in 5 short years my two youngest babies will graduate and most likely leave my nest at the same time–double whammy!I’ve been reflecting on our homeschool journey a lot lately. I remember when we began. Stepping out on faith into the wild unknown of homeschooling was a frightening experience. Time with my precious children was what I always wanted. I knew it wasn’t always going to be rosy, but I had no idea how much time I would spend fussing about the lack of attention span, worrying about silly state education standards, cleaning up messes from science experiments gone wrong, and sweeping up the hair I pulled out during math meltdowns. I spent a lot of time focusing on the thorns instead of smelling the roses.
Even more valuable and memorable was the quality time I spent with my blessings. I didn’t realize how much time we would spend cuddling up on the couch with a good book, laughing at poems and short stories they’d written, teaching the time-honored but not forgotten traditions, crafts, and life skills of yesteryear, marveling and worshiping God and His creation, honoring our ancestors, hugging through the meltdowns, praying through the struggles, and thanking God for the honor and privilege of homeschooling. I am so grateful for these beautiful blossoms in our homeschool.
Now that I think about it, those thorns lead to some delightful blossoms; those moments were well worth it. I would endure the pricks and thorns one million times over to homeschool my children. After all, you can’t have true roses without thorns. They have a God-given purpose. Who am I to question God’s design and plan? Roses are one of God’s most beautiful creations. I can’t imagine avoiding the soft, delicate petals, the lovely fragrance, or the intricate beauty of a rose simply because of the thorns.
It won’t be long and I’ll be reflecting over our summer break and heading into the 2016-2017 school year. Our homeschool journey is moving way too fast for me. Maybe you feel the same. It is my prayer for us all to take time to enjoy the roses of our homeschooling journey, thorns and all! Roses don’t last forever.
The other day after we finished a tough homeschool day, I was thinking about our homeschool journey. I was thinking about the importatance of academics, but that there are so many things I want my children to learn that have nothing to do with academics and everything to do with living life: Read more at my guest post on Raising Homemakers.
Ever feel like you are in a juggling act? I know I do–and my house is the three ring circus. Circuses are fun, but your home is no place for a circus. I have not be trained to nor do I even want to jump through rings of fire or walk a tightrope hundreds of feet in the air or juggle a dozen balls. Fire dangerously spreads. I’m afraid of heights. Oh, and did I mention I have carpal tunnel and arthritis. No way I can juggle!
The circus wasn’t even my calling. I was called to be a wife and a mother. That means using Proverbs 31 as my guide to serving God and my family. I am to love and support my husband by being a good steward of all of his hard work. We are a team so while he is working hard all day, I am caring for everything on the home front.
I am to love, nurture and teach my children spiritually, academically, physically. I am also to care for myself in a way that keeps me spiritually and physically healthy so I can serve God and my family to the utmost of my ability.
So how come I find myself feeling like an act for Ringling Brothers? How did I end up here? How do I get back on track?
I’ve been studying scripture and The Lord has really been speaking to me. He pointed out the fact that as a wife and mommy, I wear at least 50 different hats every day. Have you ever seen one of those mom job descriptions that is a mile long list of duties? It’s true. At some point I do have to multitask or adjust tasks which means I may need to do a little juggling. But in His faithfulness He reminded me that if I seek Him first, He will help me do so with grace, joy, peace, and a servant’s heart instead of looking like a fumbling clown.
He also pointed out that sometimes in my quest, I get too busy trying to meet the world’s standard of a woman rather than God’s standard. That’s when I start feeling like a Bozo, because my priorities have gotten so mixed up.
Below are 5 tips to help moms juggle everything:
Tend your garden. I’m not talking about the one out in the backyard. It’s the garden of our heart that needs attention. We need to surrender and give Jesus our hearts. We need to tend our garden by studying His Word, communicating with God in prayer, and regular worship in His house. Through these things, He can change the condition of the soil of our hearts so that the seeds of His Word will take root, grow, and bear fruit. Luke 18:14-15–The seed that fell among thorns stands for those who hear, but as they go on their way they are choked by life’s worries, riches and pleasures, and they do not mature.But the seed on good soil stands for those with a noble and good heart, who hear the word, retain it, and by persevering produce a crop.
Relinquish control. If we are ever going to find balance, we’ve got to “let go and let God”. He will guide us to what should remain in our hands. When we seek Him, we’ll have the freedom to stop juggling some of the balls, but don’t worry–they won’t drop. When we give them to God, they float upward to His mighty hands. The hands that control everything. Let’s face it–we aren’t Superwoman. We cannot do EVERYTHING. Why not let your loving Heavenly Father carry the burden? He desires to do this for us. 1 Peter 5:7–Give all your worries and cares to God, for He cares about you.
Stop chasing the wrong dream. We’ve got to get our priorities straight. We’ve got to stop worrying about how the world tells us school, sports, and other activities are the top priorities in life. Don’t get me wrong–they are important to a degree. However, they won’t get your children into Heaven. They have little to no eternal value. Our relationships with God, His church, and our family should be the top priority. Everything else will fall into place once that is established. What good is it going to do if little Johnny can hit a home run, if he thinks baseball is more important than his relationship with God and The Church? What good is it if we have all of the material possessions in the world, can eat out every night, and have a huge savings account, but our family is worshiping at the idols of television, iPads, and sports cars? Physical health is so important to serving God and our families, but not to the extent that we spend more time exercising and counting calories than we do in His Word. Those things become our gods. Exodus 20:3–“You must not have any other god but me. If you need help prioritizing your schedule, these books are extremely helpful:
Don’t worrying about your needs & just be grateful. There are people who spend hours worrying about money, planning how to pinch and squeeze every penny they have. It is important to be good stewards of God’s blessings, but it they not ours to hoard and obsess over. Money is a tool God gives us to use for His glory. Many parents preach to their children to be grateful, yet they don’t exhibit that themselves. They are hoarding every dime. The children see them using and abusing others for what they have instead of working hard and buying their own. People lie on their taxes, cheat others so that they can save money, and they develop an entitlement attitude. They expect people to cater to their needs. That’s not a life of gratitude. If we get our spiritual life on track, then we won’t have to worry about meeting our physical needs. We will trust God to take care of them. He will change our hearts, shape our attitudes about money, and we’ll stop struggling to juggle those pesky finances. We will live as God as our Provider. He will pour out His blessings. We will use it for His glory and share it along the way. Luke 12:22-31–And He said to His disciples, “For this reason I say to you, do not worry about your life, as to what you will eat; nor for your body, as to what you will put on. For life is more than food, and the body more than clothing. Consider the ravens, for they neither sow nor reap; they have no storeroom nor barn, and yet God feeds them; how much more valuable you are than the birds! And which of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life’s span? If then you cannot do even a very little thing, why do you worry about other matters? Consider the lilies, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin; but I tell you, not even Solomon in all his glory clothed himself like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass in the field, which is alive today and tomorrow is thrown into the furnace, how much more will He clothe you? You men of little faith! And do not seek what you will eat and what you will drink, and do not keep worrying.For all these things the nations of the world eagerly seek; but your Father knows that you need these things. But seek His kingdom, and these things will be added to you.”
Glorify the Lord. Our lives are not about us. We need to realize that the meaning of life is to glorify The Lord not to live for self. That is why we need balance and why we drop the ball. We have a God-given purpose. If we live that out, then we will bear fruit for The Lord. Are your hands too full and too busy juggling balls? Ask yourself what fruit you are bearing. Your hands weren’t meant to juggle, but they were created to be branches that bear much fruit. We are to be the hands and feet of Christ and bring glory to The Father. You can’t do that when you have your hands full of a million different things. John 15:8–When you produce much fruit, you are my true disciples. This brings great glory to my Father. I would encourage you to hang a note or a sign up as a daily reminder of God’s purpose for you.
Juggling takes a lot of hard work. There will be times when we will drop a ball or two, but I am so thankful that I don’t have to juggle all of the balls alone. I’m grateful I have a Father who turns my chaotic circus into an amazing work of art.