Life is full of the unexpected. The closer I get to my Heavenly Father the more He amazes me. There are many situations in my life that I never expected, some bad and some good. Some occurred when I stumbled and fell, others when I took leaps of faith.
If you would have asked me 25 years ago if I ever thought I’d step away from God or make decisions contrary to His will for my life, sinned, I would have adamantly said, “NO”, but I did… I certainly never would have believed you if you told me I would ever feel whole or restored in the sight of God, that I would let my failure go and forgive myself.
Twenty years ago if you would have suggested to me as a new bride that in a few years I would be the mommy of four children I would have panicked and said, “I don’t think I can handle four.” I never would have believed you if you would have told me 15 years ago that it would be possible for me to work from home full time and care for my babies, or that I would leap as far as closing my business to devote more time and energy to my family, simply doing odd things here and there to contribute on occasion.
I certainly never would have believed that I would have the honor and privilege of homeschooling my children, abandoning much of what I learned and experienced growing up in the public school setting. To leave every idea I was taught early in life about being a feminist, modern woman, having a career, that women have to take matters into their own hands and not submit to their husband’s leadership and ultimately God’s will for marriage and family, that was a foreign concept to me. (I see it in children and youth these days, the ways they have been indoctrinated to believe contrary to God’s will and it scares me.)
I would have thought you were crazy when you said I would leave my safe & comfortable church home of 20+ years. I never would have thought I’d have the confidence to undertake roles volunteering in my homeschool community and church, and actually I don’t have that confidence in myself but in God.
All of these circumstances have come true, but none have been easy. I will never know the full extent of my choice to walk away from God’s will for my life, but I do know that I never want to go back. My love for Him is my motivation to keep taking leaps of faith.
All of these situations have come with a price. Only one was done in my own power and led to the destruction of my relationship with God. The rest have come from the Lord and His power in my life and have led to an over abundance of blessings. I am still in awe of what He has done, how He uses us to carry out His plan.
I have to admit that none of these leaps were easy. They’ve all taken me by surprise, sometimes even blindsiding me. But, I am so thankful that if we trust in Him and not ourselves He will help us leap. He will walk with us on each journey we face as we submit to His will for our lives.
I am on a bit of a new journey, and I’m excited to see what God has in store. I am thankful for His faithfulness, grace and mercy to me, someone so undeserving!
Whole 30 Day 17